Anybody fancy a thai massage ? Was the question that John asked. Why not ? I thought to myself, I had never had a thai massage so I figured what the heck, it can't be all that bad. 20 minutes later we were off the sky train and onto the steamy streets of bangkok. We walked for about 20 minutes and then saw a place that advertised 200 baht for one hour thai massages. 200 baht is about $5 dollars. We walked in and it was dark inside, and we were greeted by two young smiling thai girls. They told us to take off our sandals and walk upstairs. Once we were up there, they had us take off our clothes, "Shit" I told myself, I did not think that this was that kind of place, even though they exist all over the place. They then handed us some pajamas that we put on and then turned down the lights to "set the mood". First off, let me tell you that this is not a gentle massage, they literally kick the shit out of your body, and then stomp on your balls for good measure. The massage always starts off light, and then the girls start rubbing with increased vigor, until you scream out "Mama Mia" at the top of your lungs. The girls thought it was quite funny that I was in so much pain. I was not as amused. The worst part was when they pulled my legs behind my head and had me in the pretzel position. I had no idea that I was that flexible and I have been walking funny ever since. Then she had me in a crab positon and lifted me up and poped my back something awful. She did this twice and the second time she misjudged and I fell over. It was quite funny and embarassing at the same time. Then she turned me over and started rubbing closer and closer to my crotch. Where is this going ? Why is she touching there ? What happens if I pitch a tent ? Sweat started to trickle down from my forehead as she squeezed and mashed and turned my crotch area and inner thighs into silly putty. At the end we layed down, held each other and smoked a cigarette. "AH" I breathed out. This was the beginning of something very beautiful. I got up, and cursed her and her family under my breath and she said, next time come back for oil massage !! Mr. EEEN Oh boy I thought !!, I'll have to think about it... Drink please !!